Grieving

     The loss of my friend this past week has made a big impact on me.  He took his own life and this troubles me deeply, for his family's loss and also knowing I could have caused my own family the same tragedy.  It reminds me how much you must be so far gone in your mind to even consider such action and how sad it is for him that he was so so depressed and desperate.  I neglected a friend that could have used my help, despite several prompts in the past few months to contact this friend and I cannot help but be mad at myself for making excuses like lack of time.  It may not have saved my friend but at least I would have known in my heart I had said everything I could have to help him.

     I can only hope that I can learn from this personally and remember my friend Chris for the kind hearted, sensitive, generous, funny person that he was.  The world is a little darker without him in it.  I'm glad I know in my heart that he's not alone and that his family and friends WILL see him again someday.

"Where did I go wrong?  I lost a friend somewhere alone in the bitterness, and I would have stayed up with you all night had I know how to save a life."

I'll miss you Chris Hoskins.